FINDING ZEN IN UNEXPECTED PLACES By Shannon Girard
My wish is for other families is to know what is possible for their special son or daughter and how to provide them with the positive encouragement and necessary resources that they need to live an enriched life.
Since I was a little girl, I had always wanted 5 children of my own. By the age of 42, I had 4 beautiful kids. My husband and I talked about having a 5th. I went for a check up with my doctor and was given a clean bill of health. Shortly after, I was pregnant. Aside from my usual morning sickness, I felt great and was excited about this new baby. I went for my first ultrasound. Everything looked normal to me. A few days later, my Doctors office called to say that they could not clearly see the fetus in the ultrasound photos and asked me to have another test done. I never once thought that something could be wrong.
I had the second test and it showed something out of the ordinary. The fetus had some irregularities. I had several more ultrasounds and every month that this baby grew inside me, the challenges also got worse. Doctors could not conclusively say what condition our baby had. We were devastated. Not knowing for sure what to expect made things very difficult. I could not believe that this baby that I was carrying, that moved around like crazy inside me could be so sick. I still felt great, just like my other pregnancies.
I went 2 weeks past my due date and with midwives, my husband and my children and Mom beside me, I gave birth to a beautiful 8 ½ pound baby girl with long dark brown hair that stuck straight up in the air. When one of the midwives turned the baby over after cutting her cord, I saw her face for the first time. I knew that she had Down Syndrome. I whispered to my Mom and both of us starting crying.
The hospital gave me the usual birth registration forms in addition to a pamphlet on Down Syndrome. I could not read the pamphlet without bursting into tears. I was released from the hospital a few hours later, and we took our new daughter home. We had a lot of people calling to say "sorry" or "we know how you feel" or "they are such cuddly people". No one knew how we felt or what was going through our minds. We were grieving for the loss of a healthy "normal" baby girl.
We joined a DS support group with other new parents. Although the parents were nice people, I found it so depressing to be around them as they seemed to have accepted what people were telling them about what not to expect for their child.
The same thing went for some of the social events I attended. Other parents did not believe that their kids could still do amazing things. They had already put limitations on their own children. They loved their kids but had already given up on their possibilities. I was more determined than ever that our daughter was going to make a mark in this world.
Everything I learned about DS, I learned on my own. I found out about health issues unique to kids with DS and what questions to ask my doctor. I learned how to advocate for my daughter as far as her education goes.
Today my daughter is in a regular grade 2 classroom and loves to do things that other 8 year old girls like to do. She continues to amaze me with her love for everyone and how she does love to learn. Books are her very favorite thing. She is our social butterfly and has lots of friends. She is invited to more birthday parties than any of my other kids.
Madison has taught me so much. She has taught me to love everyone and everything unconditionally. She has shown me how important it is to slow down and just look at things for what they are. Madison has shown me that a beautiful smile can change the mood in any room or situation. She has taught me how to be patient and listen slowly.
22.08.2007
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