Playing the Fertility Challenge – Me Versus Mother Nature By Anonymous
Our 20s and 30s are often spent creating ourselves and pursuing our dreams; dreams that may or may not include children. Creating a brilliant career and finding the right partner (or not) is time intensive. Before you know it, you´re 35 or 40, and seriously considering baby making for the first time. Then reality strikes. As Dr. David, a family doctor with heart says: "If you were 17and in the backseat of a car you´d be pregnant in a snap. But you’re 35 (or 40 or even 50). This may take time." Prepared to go the distance?
When I was in my early twenties I envisioned having a bunch of kids - enough to form a decent Kennedy-like football game. Then I was thirty, concentrating on my career. I thought perhaps I´d never marry but that I would get artificially inseminated at some vague point in the future. I had a plan, I always do, but the details were sketchy.
| When I was in my early twenties I envisioned having a bunch of kids - enough to form a decent Kennedy-like football game. |
By the time I got engaged - at 35 - my career was going great guns, and kids were the last thing on my mind. When we got engaged, I told my future husband that I didn´t want kids. Given the number of times during our engagement that we had unprotected sex, I was a little surprised and relieved that I wasn´t pregnant. By the time we got married a year later – I’d changed my mind.
| By the time I got engaged - at 35 - my career was going great guns, and kids were the last thing on my mind. |
Just before getting married, I asked my then GP if there was anything I should worry about in terms of getting pregnant. My family´s history indicated no problems on that front. Were there any tests I could or should do to determine my fertility? Step 1: Questions.
| Just before getting married, I asked my then GP if there was anything I should worry about in terms of getting pregnant. |
So we did the "paper cup" test and the "womb to go" exam. My husband’s tests to count his sperm and measure their motility (sperm motility refers to its ability to swim forward to the ultimate destination.) were in the normal range. I was offered the regular vaginal exam. Her advice was that there was nothing to prevent me from getting pregnant.
Step 2: Examination. Confidence buoyed, I took her word for it and didn´t give my abilities in this area another thought for four more years. Fact was, we really didn´t have the time to even think about it – I was busy giving birth to my business.
| Her advice was that there was nothing to prevent me from getting pregnant. Confidence buoyed, I took her word for it …Fact was, we really didn´t have the time to even think about it – I was busy giving birth to my business. |
Then I hit the wall of my 39th birthday. I had also quit smoking six months before, which I knew for sure increased my chances. My basal temperature monitoring (to show when a women is ovulating) along with my colour-coded spreadsheets kept me optimistic. Step 3: Do it Yourself.
But there was no baby magic. I was referred to a terrific OB who performed a bunch of tests. Step 4: Specialist.
Our journey began with hysterosonogram (an ultrasound test that examines the inside of the uterus and the fallopian tubes). It revealed that I had Uterine Fibroids - tumors or growths which are almost always benign (not cancerous). While mine were not cancerous and it couldn´t be definitively said that these growths prevented me from getting pregnant; the treatment for women trying to get pregnant is removal. Step 5: Surgery.
| Then I hit the wall of my 39th birthday…But no magic. |
Right after the surgery to remove the fibroids, we found ourselves at a fertility clinic. At our first meeting we were told that my FSH (test commonly used to evaluate a woman´s egg supply) at 13 was "borderline". Blood tests followed. Bottom line: we had no time to waste we learned about fertility drugs and "in vitro fertilization" (IVF- where egg cells are fertilized by sperm outside the woman´s womb, in vitro). The costs of the fertility drugs and the "fertility process" were astounding. Through the grapevine I´d heard of the emotional toll that the process involved - I wasn´t sure I could hack it. Step 6: The Fertility Lottery.
So I went out and bought "Fertility for Dummies." Clearly, I hadn’t paid enough attention in Grade 8 health class. Step 7: Shock and Awe.
| So I went out and bought "Fertility for Dummies." Clearly, I hadn’t paid enough attention in Grade 8 health class. |
The fertilization process was hardly romantic. The first month was supposed to be a hard look at my cycle which meant a vaginal exam every three days and tons of blood tests - no fertility drugs.
Step 8: Shed all of your inhibitions. As luck had it, I produced two good eggs - so we did a round of "IUI" (Intra-Uterine Insemination where a concentrated amount of motile sperm is placed through the cervix directly into the uterus). When the second of the two insertions was deemed not to be that great, the clinic suggested that we try the "natural way" that afternoon. We like to think that was when our daughter-to-be was conceived. Step 9: Try, Try, Try Again.
We recognize that we’re very, very lucky - as I write this I am 40 and 7 months pregnant and ecstatic. Step 10: Count your Blessings.
| … as I write this I am 40 and 7 months pregnant and ecstatic. |
To ensure the best choices for yourself, arm yourself with the best information when you´re in your 30s. Having a hysterosonogram and a blood work-up that included FSH and related hormone testing earlier might have made the process easier.
We believe that we are the masters of our destinies and that when we undertake anything, including baby making, force of will trumps all obstacles, even mother-nature. Lesson Learned: Mother Nature has her own rules. Check them out.
| Mother nature has her own rules. Check them out. |
28.11.2007
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