Making Music with Your Children - Time and Laughter By Judy Librach
I think the most successful families are families where everyone is listened to. It is a family where every family member has the chance to speak and express him or herself with the confidence that they are being fully listened to; that their thoughts, feeling and opinions are understood and acknowledged.
Recognize children as individuals. In my book, "Love Mommy: Writing Love Letters To Your Baby," I suggest that you find that golden nugget or "The Magic Key", in all of your child´s experiences that is your acknowledgement of them. It could be:
1. An insight into a central characteristic or personality trait revealed by the baby during those precious early years.
2. A compliment that goes right to the being of the child.
3. A reminder of who they really are.
4. A word of motherly wisdom or advice that will open up rich possibilities in their lives as they grow.
What all the "Magic Keys" have in common is that they are a lovely way of noticing something treasured about your child that makes them special. Make up a game where each child has to say something they love about each member of the family. Watch how your family rises to the occasion when each member is complimented for the wonderful things they do, and how it parlays into even greater harmony for the individuals and the entire family unit.
A successful family involves a family meal where everyone can congregate at the table to share the news about the day, when everyone has a chance to be noticed and validated. It needn’t be daily, but it should be regular.
As moms, we are so busy, balancing more than our mothers and grandmothers ever had to in many cases. So it´s really important to sit down and play that game of Candyland or Clue, to play that extra game of Hangman or Tic Tac Toe together, or just sit down and cuddle up together and read. One night my son read his book, while I read the last chapter of mine, and my daughter who still has to read out loud, read quietly to herself by whispering the words. It was wonderful because we were all together.
It´s also fun to find a program that you all enjoy and watch it regularly and talk about it. For our family, Canadian Idol and American Idol are favourites. But lately, I will even watch the Family Channel show the Suite Life of Zack and Cody, just to hang out with and spend time with my kids. We value the time we all spend together.
Bedtime is a fantastic time to hear what´s on your children´s minds and I always end the day by asking my children to share five things they are the most thankful and grateful for that happened that day. A positive attitude and gratitude strengthen character.
Family holidays with my husband, and two children are precious and we remind each other to notice how very special it is.
That doesn’t mean perfection. Nothing is perfect. So long as we create a positive intention for making time for family and making that time together positive, we’re on the right track.
For your family life to be happy and healthy, make sure you are happy and healthy. So whether it´s running, working out, doing yoga or meditation, find that thing that will make you your best self, so you can offer that up to your children, and also give them a shining example of what wellness and a healthy body, mind and spirit look like.
Finally, don´t forget to laugh. The happiest families are those that can laugh at themselves and laugh with each other. Find the humour in every situation and help each other see the humour in everyday situations and you will step into your sphere of a loving and successful family.
28.11.2007
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Judy Siblin-Librach, is author of Love Mommy: Writing Love Letters To Your Baby, published by ECW Press, available in all major bookstore and on line retailers in Canada and the U.S.
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